Some Accounting Humor To Get You To The End Of The Busy Season

Now that March Madness is over, here is a compilation of Accounting jokes to get you through the final days of Tax Season….

1. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
2. Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040?  For every $50 you earn, you get $10, they get $40.
3. It’s an accrual world.
4. It’s 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
5. Where do homeless accountants live?  In a tax shelter.
6. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
7. How do you know you have a great CPA?  He has a tax loophole named after him.
8. What do you call an accountant with an opinion?  An auditor.
9. An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
10. How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?  How much money do you have?
11. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?  Net Present Value.
12. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?  Depreciation.
13. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?  They have strong internal controls.
14. Be audit you can be.
15. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?  Lazy.
16. What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?  A late night.
17. An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.
18. Why do economists exist?  So accountants have someone to laugh at.
19. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?  The accountant knows he’s boring.
20. Did you know the IRS now offers a tax credit on the purchase of marijuana? You just have to file a joint return.
21. How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
22. What’s an actuary? An accountant without a sense of humor.
23. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?  Invite an accountant.
24. Four Laws of Accounting:
    1. Trial balances don’t.
    2. Bank reconciliations never do.
    3. Working capital does not. 
    4. Return on investments never will.