Be positive…look at the extra family time…appreciate that you no longer have a commute…blah, blah blah.
It all sounds wonderful, it really does! But there are times when I struggle to “embracing the good.”
For a moment, I thought scrolling through Facebook or Instagram to feel connected would help. Unfortunately, seeing families post pictures of their “together time,” or watching a video about how incredible one’s child did on his/her distance learning project, just made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Maybe it’s because my family dynamic is a bit different – I am a divorced mom with two young kids. Maybe it’s because I am not a teacher so this distance learning, which, at times, feels more like homeschooling, does not bring out my best traits. Maybe it’s because people are so caught up in trying to show the rest of the world that everything is awesome that when it isn’t awesome, we feel inadequate. And feeling inadequate does not feel good.
I live in Westchester, NY, about 3 miles from where the epicenter broke out in New Rochelle earlier in March. My kids have been out of school since March 16th and after spending the last three weeks balancing work, life and homeschooling, I have come to these honest conclusions about myself, my life and my mindset and in sharing them, I hope I making you feel anything but inadequate:
- There are moments when I am worried that I have come down with COVID-19, until I realize that the shortness of breath I have is actually due to anxiety.
- When it comes to 3rd grade math – I rock!!!
- When it comes to limiting my kids screen time….yeah…not so hot!
- Running is my salvation – I am a better person on the days I run.
- I am grateful that I work for an essential business.
- I never thought I would ever have to know so much about banking in my life – PPP loans, EIDL, Employee Redemption Credit, oh my!!
- I get nervous when I need to go to the store.
- The memes that have been going around provide for a necessary laugh!!!
- As a single parent, I worry that I am exposing my children to even more risk since they are going back and forth between homes.
- I often wonder how many of the shops within my neighborhood, and around the country, will be able to recover when this is finally over.
- I am constantly reminded that life is much about perception and there will always be people who fare better than you and those that fare worse.
- Sleep is not always my friend.
- This is all unbelievably sad and watching #staystrong videos often make me cry.
- We will all get through this, however I, like many of us, have no idea what all of the collateral damage will entail.
- I am in absolute awe of First Responders!
I can summarize this by saying we are all in this together, since in many ways we are. However, as the surrealness of this unprecedented time continues to surround us, we are also going through our own individual fight. Some will fight through the actual symptoms of COVID-19, while others will have to fight against that financial and emotional impact as a result of the stay-at-home orders. Regardless of what we are fighting at any given moment, all we can do is take this one day at a time, keep fighting and remind ourselves that we are doing the best that we can!